When I was a boy
World was better spot
What was so was so
What was not was not
Now I am a man;
World have changed a lot
Some things nearly so
Others nearly not
–Rodgers and Hammerstein’s The King and I
So, why can’t the two Chinas just recognize each other? Mainland China is 267 times as large as Taiwan. But despite the fact that one geographically looks like it’s spitting out a seed that’s the other, the situation seems more perilous today with the threat that Big China could invade Little China looming larger right now because of Vladimir Putin’s aggression in Ukraine.
Would the United States intervene and support Taiwan if that were to happen? Does the fact that the largest company making computer chips in the world is located in Taiwan make any difference in that determination?
Yul Brynner in The King and I saw the world as a puzzlement. I think I see it more like a board game and Nancy Pelosi just passed Go but may have landed on Chance. But her stop in Taipei got me thinking about where American and other world leaders go and don’t go or haven’t ever gone. For instance believe it or not but no pope ever traveled to Jerusalem until Paul VI spent one day in the city in 1964.
It turns out that there are over 80 countries that a sitting U.S. President has never visited while in office. Luxembourg, Bolivia and the Dominican Republic are three of them. Many of the others are in Africa.
Speaker Pelosi’s visit to Taiwan was the first of a high ranking elected American official in 25 years. Want to guess who was the last before her? I won’t leave you in suspense. It was former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich in 1997 and I don’t believe anything changed in the two China calculus afterward.
But obviously visits by world leaders can be important and lead to change that has great impact. This year marks the 50th anniversary of Richard Nixon’s visit to China– the first sitting American president to do so. And years earlier Dwight Eisenhower was the only president to ever go to Taiwan while in office.
Eisenhower’s visit caused Big China to shell islands controlled by Little China. I’m old enough to remember John F. Kennedy and Nixon squaring off on Quemoy and Matsu in one of their debates in 1960.
So, will Speaker Pelosi’s stop in Taiwan have unintended repercussions?
There are times I almost think
I am not sure of what I absolutely know
Very often find confusion
In conclusion I concluded long ago
In my head are many facts
That, as a student, I have studied to procure
In my head are many facts
Of which I wish I was more certain I was sure!
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“If all economists were laid end to end, they would still not reach a conclusion”
– G.B. Shaw
When I worked on my high school and college newspapers I loved writing headlines. Of course the purpose of a headline is kind of obvious– it should tell you that an article is about this and attempt to get you to want to read it. It’s information and it’s also seduction. It can be straight or it can be witty and it can also on occasion be confusing, nonsensical or stupid.
So, after my friend Vic pointed out the headline from the Washington Post about the current state of our economy I realized this headline was both straight and stupid.
I took one economics course in college. In high school I had a quarter of home economics, if that also counts. We made aprons and baked a cake. The girls had to take shop and made plastic knives and got addicted to shellac– just kidding.
My most outrageous headlines were composed the summer in college when I was part of a team that put out a weekly newspaper tied to a summer arts festival at Dartmouth.
My friend John and I collaborated to create doozies like this one for a concert performed by the Philadelphia String Quartet– Philly Filly Fiddler, Three Beau Combine to Spiel Spicy Space Age Sonorities.
Believe it or not we weren’t fired!
Headlines are still part of journalism on the internet of course but it isn’t the same reading them there. The demise of printed newspapers has me both nostalgic and distressed. Sure, it’s convenient to just type or swipe and instantly have the news but I miss the sound of the thump the rolled up Reading Times and Reading Eagle made when the paperboy tossed them onto our front porch. When there was no thump the paper could be found in the bushes. And I miss more than that. Jo and I agree that we would go back and be happy to return to pre internet days if that were to ever happen. I guess we’re showing our age and just want these nightmarish times to end.
Of course then I’d have to find another “hobby” to replace my cartoon meanderings. But I’d also likely be dead by now without the medical advances that have made us Boomers the generation that keeps ordering coffee and dessert and won’t leave the table.
But back to headlines. I did get in trouble for one in my earliest effort in journalism. I got kicked off my high school cross country team for hiding under a bridge with another teammate instead of running the training loop with the others. I wasn’t bitter, I just wanted to be allowed to practice shooting basketballs instead of running five miles a day. Didn’t work out but afterward as sports editor of the school newspaper I topped an article about my ex-team with “Cross Country Crushed.”
On this day nearly six decades later I offer an apology to Steve, Wes, Bucky and whoever else was a real runner at the time.
So, just for fun I found some headlines that aren’t insulting to anyone other than those who composed them. They seem to be authentic as they were shown as they appeared in actual newspapers none of which likely exist anymore…Homicide Victims Rarely Talk to the Police
Breathing Oxygen Linked to Staying Alive
China Using the Ocean to Hide Its Submarines
Diana Was Still Alive Hours before She Died
Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop and Find Weapons
Broken Air Conditioners Lead to Hot Homes
Survey Finds Fewer Deer after Hunt
Meteorite May Have Come from Outer Space
Miracle Drug Kills Fifth Person
World Bank Says the Poor Need More Money
A Majority of Americans– 4 in 10 –Say “We Hate Math!”
Statistics Show Tenn Pregnancy Drops Off after Age 25
Marijuana Issue Sent to a Joint CommissionStudents Cook and Serve Parents
Prisoner Serving Life Sentence Faces More Time
Body Found Dead in Cemetery
Republicans Turned Off by Size of Obama’s Package
Tiger Woods Plays with His Own Balls
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Nothing can spin the wheels of justice more slowly than corporations and rich people. In America since 2010 they’re actually one and the same thanks to the United States Supreme Court and its decision in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission. Sad to say that Donald Trump would likely be a Heisman Trophy winner if he were a football player for his broken field running through the Halls of Justice.
Oh, here and there he may have gotten a five yard penalty but it sure seems like most of the time his blockers– Trump is always on the offensive even when he’s the defendant –do just that and steamroll over the system that allows him to continue to carry the ball and stiff arm his opponents when he should have been flat out ejected from the game many times before now.One thing’s for sure, when you have money you get to be on an unlevel playing field.
So, let’s skip to the halftime show and one of those irreverent college bands. What musical accompaniment could they play when Trump’s being deposed or questioned under oath? Of course I can think of a few… There’s Silence is Golden, Our Lips Are Sealed and then there’s one I wish would someday fill the stadium at the end of the fray– The Party’s Over.
And how about an additional tribute to accompany all those in Trump’s orbit who have pledged their allegiance and ignored the law and morality to take a knee for the most divisive, disreputable and destructive figure in America’s political if not all its history. A tune for them? Strike up the band with Jailhouse Rock.
So, here’s hoping against hope that Merick Garland has the goods, although for the GOP and Trumpers I can’t even imagine what they or it might be.And here’s a final song for these “strange” times with apologies to composer Bo Diddley and the duo of Mickey and Sylvia. Do you remember their 1950s hit? Most of my Boomer recipients of these offerings probably will…
Jusss…tice, hmm hmm
Justice is strange, hmm hmm
Lot of people take it for a gameOnce you avoid it you learn a bag of tricks , yeah, yeah
After you’ve beat it you ignore the next writ
Many people don’t understand, no no
They think justice is gonna be at hand, no no
But smart lawyers find holes like cheese that’s Swiss
A rich dirty rat can get his case dismissed!
Yes, Bo Diddley wrote Love is Strange in 1956 and Mickey and Sylvia recorded it later that year and it reached number #1 on Billboard magazine’s R&B chart in 1957. Here’s a link to them singing it on television…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DbyAdxp4DQ&ab_channel=WarrenTesoro
To my surprise it turns out that there have been a ton of covers of Love is Strange including by Buddy Holly, the Everly Brothers, Peaches and Herb, and Kenny Rogers with Dolly Parton.
—————–
With apologies to Lennon and McCartney…
I’ll always know how much I owe you
You’ll always know how much I’ve shared
Listen
Do you want to know some secrets?
Do you promise not to tell?
Whoa, oh, oh
Closer
And I’ll be very clear
I’ve stolen the whole schmear
If they catch me “oy vey iz mir”
Whoa, oh, oh
I’ve known the secrets for a year or four
Nobody knows they’re just behind this door
If you help get me reelected
I will steal some more
Listen
We’ve got to keep this secret
You have to promise not to tell
Otherwise I’m in a cell
Whoa, oh, oh
Nixon said, “I am not a crook!
The Plumbers never got the things that I took
I’m still the GOP’s favorite guy
They wouldn’t even care if I was a spy.
Closer
Let me whisper in your ear
About someone who I fear
Let’s make DeSantis disappear
Ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
—————–
It’s somewhat hot again here in Maine and walking 18 holes on the golf course today was a chore by the end of my round. I remember reading recently that what’s considered Maine winter will contract on each end by as much as two weeks in the next couple decades.
In the past few years I’ve considered Maine an escape state as climate change seems to be impacting the world more noticeably and quickly than most of us want to believe. Maine had had a net population gain. More people are coming than leaving which is not the way things were for a long time.
Whether the threat of climate change and what it means for our species also has anything to do with so many people turning against truth and science, the rise of authoritarian governments, senseless violence and the myriad of other problems that have perhaps always plagued mankind but seemed less of a threat to the future of humanity I do not know.
But now I see Maine becoming what I’ll call a refuge state. A place to come where sanity and civility as well as the environment are still largely intact. Of course we have a guy running for governor who claims he was Trump before Trump and he will undoubtedly get the support of our fellow citizens who are enraptured at whatever the center of the MAGA universe launches into orbit.
Sadly, even tragically, our polarized paralyzed state still allows all of us to have something in common– disillusionment with that state of the country!
In the meantime the icecaps are shrinking, fire and drought are increasing and I think the best thing for me to try to do at the moment is attempt to make you laugh…
Well, did I?
And tell your friends or tell me if you know anyone who might like to get my cartoons.
—————–
Above was an actual headline today in my morning news feed. The follow up…
CDC data show U.S. life expectancy dropped by nearly 2 years on average from 2019 to 2020, driven in large part by the COVID-19 pandemic; New York experienced the largest drop (3 years).
Marijuana and hallucinogen use in young U.S. adults spiked significantly in 2021 compared to 5 or 10 years ago, reaching historic highs, according to the Monitoring the Future panel study.
And despite the state of the world which it appears more of us are now escaping from a bit earlier or avoiding thinking about at an increasing rate while still here on earth– Have you noticed the number of cannabis stores that have popped up in the past year or so? –I still hear the echo of Dean Vernon Wormer’s advice to Kent “Flounder” Dorfman in Animal House almost a half century ago…
“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”
I’m overweight, yes. I drink a little more than I should perhaps, yes. But I don’t believe I’m stupid although I wonder more and more if Dean Wormer was wrong on that one.
—————–
My friend Arthur sent me the pun about putting together a cabinet in Sweden and so today’s cartoon is just embellishing it with appreciation and thanks to him. But I do have an Ikea story that accompanied a cartoon that I sent out almost two years ago…
When we moved into our house here in Maine I put together the last piece of Ikea furniture I ever will. It’s the desk I’m sitting at right now and it’s fine except for the drawer just below my right hand that I’m using to type these words with.
I’ve assembled a lot of Ikea stuff in my life and I do actually admire their instructions which stand out because they use only pictures and no words. The desk however had FOURTEEN PAGES OF PICTURES! I was doing so well until…
I had actually finished putting the desk together and about to load up its two drawers with my stuff. The one on the left side pulled out easily but the one on the right got stuck less than halfway. Way less than half way. Hmmm…
I discovered I had put one screw in the wrong place but I couldn’t reach it now to unscrew it. I started to remove screws in other places. It didn’t help. Somehow, some way the screw I had screwed up must have been screwed in much earlier in the assemblage.
I kept disassembling. The desk was no longer upright it was resting sideways on my knees as I continued to reverse all work I had done and then it DROPPED!
If you’ve ever put together a piece of Ikea furniture, then you are familiar with the little pegs that you insert that join the larger pieces together. The correct name for them is dowels. My dropping the desk sheared off a bunch of them. I was angry and that gave way quickly to despondency.
What had been my innocent mistake that I had taken responsibility for making now needed a scapegoat. I blamed Ikea and Volvo and Abba and all of Sweden. I asked myself what would Henrik Ibsen do? Yeah, I know he’s Norwegian.
I was mentally treading water in order not to sink further into depression. My mind, working like it does, suggested I write a play with a title– “The Dowel House.” This wasn’t helping.
I left the desk on its side for two days while I fumed and considered my options. I could call Ikea and order parts; I could hire someone more competent than I to take over; I could pick up where I left off and just put the damn thing back together as best I could and live with a gimpy drawer.
I chose the last option and have pulled out that drawer just now– for the first six inches it’s fine after that it’s a tug.The Japanese have a tradition of revering broken things called kintsugi. It goes back 500 years. I don’t feel any special reverence for this drawer and nothing from Ikea is going to last 50 years but for now and forever I’m fine with my desk.
I have reprised this story because today I had another “Don’t do it yourself!” moment involving a towel rack in the bathroom. We’ve had problems with this rack since we inherited it when we moved into this house 12 years ago. At even the most surgical attempt to hang a washcloth let alone a towel on its brushed nickel rods they would drop on the floor.
The sound when that happened was all but identical to that of the bell of a San Francisco cable car. We’d forget to warn guests about this and of course they’d usually be nude when this occurred and speechless. I’d yell through the door, “Don’t worry about it!” but afterward would refasten the rods for the next person who would be momentarily humiliated.
So, yesterday I bought a replacement towel rack. I don’t need to go into great detail of what happened when I tried to install it myself. I’ll just say what you already may have surmised– I totally screwed it up.
But there’s a happy ending. We’ve had a terrific contractor do major work for us over the years and during that time he and his two man crew have become our friends. Donny, a master carpenter came over and you can’t even see my misguided drilling.
Me: “Thanks so much. You did that very easily.”
Donny: “I think I’ve done a few more of these than you, Peter.”
I grew up in Pennsylvania and 40 years ago the phrase “You’ve got a friend in Pennsylvania” was imprinted on state license plates to promote tourism. Nice phrase and I still have great friends there but although I wasn’t born in Maine and will forever be “from away” I can’t see living anywhere else.
Enjoy the Scotch Donny!
And here’s a link to the sound of the bell of a cable car that might bring back memories but not whet your appetite…
—————–
With all the secret stuff I took no one’s surprised I’m that dumb
The Feds got the goods and you think maybe this time I’m done
But it’s a real good bet that there’s still more to come
I can’t finish messing with the song lyrics to The Best Is Yet To Come. Sorry, Frank Sinatra…
I can’t get past thinking what the Republicans would be doing if a Democrat president had been caught with top secret documents in his or her cellar. Oh, wait haven’t some of the GOP claimed Obama has documents stashed in his house? And have they accused him yet of pushing Ivana Trump down her staircase?
I’m afraid the lyrics I should be honoring are from a song first recorded by the Weavers in 1949 and below is a link to the group singing it at a reunion concert in 1980.
It’s title: Wasn’t that a time?
—————–
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